The Most Important Rip-Off of My Life

So, week one of engagement is officially behind me, and I can say without reservation that I hate it. It has brought all of the things I try to avoid into my life in a flash

*hugging strangers
*relatives I could do without hearing from
*judgment and opinions from people who have no business weighing in
*reassurance that I'm too fat
*the opportunity to be overcharged for everything.

My favorite so far is the girl who can't wait for my wedding, but did not invite me to hers. Tacky. Pretty much everyone is unhappy with some part of my potential wedding plan at this point, and so I've decided that I'm not doing this any more. Right now, I'm lobbying like crazy to elope, with parents, before July 2009. I have not yet convinced the rest of the wedding party. But I'm ready to get on to the judgment and opinions and rudeness about my ability to breed, set up a house, or raise progeny.

There are 2 main obstacles to my July plan, aside from our parents and my betrothed - the dress and the rings. And, really the problem is that I'm cheap and impatient.

If I wanted to diet for a year, I could fit into the vintage dress that I own and love. Or, I could pay someone $1000-$1500 to recreate it. Or, buy something wedding-y. Boo. My last hope is an appointment with a seamstress to see what we can do to get me into it for a Spring Gala at Work on May 13th. Here's hoping she buys that little fib and doesn't jack up the price for alterations. But, I swear to you, if she comes back to me with a $1000 quote, I'm walking out and buying some vanilla, boring J Crew shift off of ebay. This is asinine. I am not spending $1000 for a dress to have lunch with my parents and friends.

The second issue is the rings. I am now 90% sure that the custom rings that I'm seeing at jewelers all over town are all made by the same guy out of the Bronx. He doesn't sell to individuals. But, whereas a teency diamond eternity band in platinum runs about $800, anything that looks like his work runs about $1500-$2000. And, of course, I want 2. But at those prices, it would be nuts to do it.

So, really, not happy about any of it, want it over with, and bummed that I can' pull shit together to get it done NOW. Because I ate too much through this stressful year and didn't snap up these rings years ago when they were cheap. So far, the only good part is the Boy.