How Did This Happen?

Ok, so normally I don't like to do this sort of navel-gazing on my blog (believe it or not, I make decisions about what I put up) but I had an epiphany today; my grocery list proves that I've turned into a New Yorker. Or least how much I've changed, and what matters to me has changed, in the nearly 2 years since I left Boston. I have to go to Fairway, because it's the only place that carries mostly everything I want. Every time I think of something, they have it, with very few exceptions. The Stop & Shop in Medford and the HEB in Round Rock could probably do better, but in NYC this a fucking miracle, and bests the outer boroughs mega-stores I've been to and Fresh Direct delivery service. Fresh Direct aims to be everything to all people, but ends up being out of stock, with a half-assed selection, and shitty service to most. I don't bother anymore.

So, even though this is an asinine exercise, here's what I bought today:

7 kinds of diet soda, 2 kinds of seltzer, for a total of 102 cans. What?!? Like you never buy stuff? So, here's the deal - I LOVE soda. And, I am FAT. So, I drink diet, which I actually really like. If ever you're in the grocery store thinking, "Will I like this diet soda?" Call me. If it's not in the Baby Fridge, I can tell you why. Which brings me to that most NY of questions, where the fuck did I put it all? Well, said Baby Fridge is a college dream come true - a vintage refrigerator for only soda, beer, and booze.


And the rest (36 cans) is tucked behind my kitchen door. I can't open the freezer without moving them. Side note: if ever you have the option, skip the bottom drawer freezer. SUCKS. It gets stuck open, things drop through the baskets and jam the doors... a total nightmare.

Jello Sugar Free Pudding Cups & Sugar Free Gelatin Cups This passes as dessert in the Land of Diets. Dr. Boy tasted the fat-free, and and declared that he would only eat sugar-free from now on. After dismissing him as a primadonna, I decided to eat the FF ones and finally had to admit that he was right. They're NASTY.

Once upon a time, I bought boxes and made this stuff myself. And every week, we'd eat one and the rest would rot in the fridge. So while these aren't environmentally responsible, they go to work, or on errands, and keep for more than a week.

Dove soap, unscented for him, ultra moisturizing for me Why do all New Orleans boys use Dove soap? Le sigh. And, then they all worry that they smell like old ladies. Le double sigh. Anyway, my skin's so dry from all the chemicals in our water that it's peeling. I put on lotion, and 3 hours later I'm ashy. Don't think a white girl can get ashy? Drop by and see me some time. Fingers crossed for Dove.

Broccoli We always have broccoli, cuz he loves it and I know he'll eat it. So tired of broccoli, even if I do adore Michael Pollan. I steam it in my rice cooker, which I love. I bought it for Dr. Boy and thought it was a little expensive, but I take it all back now. Easy to use, easy to clean, retractable cord, and fits in teeny, tiny spaces. Words cannot express my admiration.

Grey Poupon Country Dijon Frikkin' spicy mustard that makes everything better.

Crest Lemon Ice Toothpaste Because I'm SO SICK of mint and cinnamon toothpaste.

Fairway Organic 1% Milk FUCK YOU, NEW YORK with your $5+ quarts of milk. $2.99, suckaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. I drink a lot of milk.

Artichokes I love me some artichokes, but they are a pain in the ass to cook. I have burned more than one pan steaming them, and it usually takes 45 minutes. But then, Marc Bittman said it only took 6. And, I love me some Marc Bittman. He got me through about a million home-cooked meals, and is making me love beans in spite of myself. And, damned if he wasn't right - a microwaved artichoke is a fucking revelation. I cut mine up for steaming and cooked it 6 minutes upside down, and 3 minutes right side up. AMAZING.

Fage 0% Greek Yogurt Another great find, written up this Sunday in the Times (is the Food section stalking me?) I've been blabbing about how great this stuff is for years, and you've all ignored me. It's not sweet, it's tangy. It's not runny, it's like the consistency of sour cream. It's great with honey, or granola, or almonds, or all sorts of things that taste gross in american yogurt. Your first taste you think, "Weird, but OK." And, then you buy it every time. We go through at least 2 tubs a week. Pricey, but worth every penny as a breakfast, dessert, snack, or ingredient. Lala said it best - american yogurt is Go-Gurt for adults, this is what it's supposed to taste like.



Swiss Chard I've never cooked it before, but this recipe has me so excited that I'm actually disappointed about the Catered Affair I'm going to tomorrow night instead of eating at home. Remember how we all lived without cell phones, and then one day it was just inconceivable not to have one on you at all times? That's how I feel about blogs.


Salad Greens In a clamshell. Organic. Pre-washed. Will probably go bad before we get to it, but we both feel like we need it in the fridge. Every. Week.

Sugar free Chocolate Milk Mix Ok, not exactly, but lately I've been craving chocolate milk, and I won't drink the premade stuff. Snopes think I'm crazy, but I can't stomach it anymore (DON'T CLICK THRU IF YOU DRINK PRE-MADE CHOCOLATE MILK. Ok, I warned you).


Organic apples, 2 Golden Delicious, 2 Gala Another weekly ritual. Sometimes he eats them, sometimes he doesn't. And, for the record, now I only eat what the Times tells me to. Because I'm an asshole.

D'Artagnan Sausage Wild Mushroom with Chicken and Rabbit with Ginger. All healthy shit, none of this, none of that, loved and cuddled and never fed junk food. SO good. Heard about it here, and have never been disappointed. It's in the specialty meat section at the store.


Total cost, less than usual, because I did not fall prey to the siren song of fruit. Buying produce in NYC is like volunteering to get mugged. Here. Just TAKE my money.