Does Alzheimer's Make My Butt Look Big?

I expected to lose some of my cognitive function with age. What I did not expect was that it would happen so early, at just past 30, or that it would target the "aerobic dance" section of my brain. I've been trying to do these frikkin' tapes, without the watchful eyes of our neighbors or Dr. Boy. Who is fascinated, BTW, even though this "isn't really exercise." My words, not his. He's just been encouraging me to skip this nonsense, and like, jog or swim.

I don't jog or swim because I am out of shape, and I look like an ass. And, I'm a greatful ass, because I bought DVDs, and I'm not this uncoordinated in a gym class full of my peers. Who never stopped doing this and have no trouble figuring out what to do in a "v-step with arms" (c'mon!). I, on the other hand, find myself lost every, I dunno, two minutes or so. Flapping and walking in a square, kind of in rhythm, not doing anything that resembles what the instructor is doing. Fuck! And then I have to pause and rewind.

DAMMIT!!! This is why you never stop going to the gym. Because your brain atrophies. Groan...