The Games We Play...

Happy almost-Turkey Day, y'all! I am very excited to start work on my first ever, home cooked, whole Turkey tomorrow. There's cleaning, and brining, and prepping, and basting... woo hoo!!! Needless to say, Dr. Boy is being incredibly patient and somewhat cooperative, though bracing for some horrific Turkey-induced meltdown. Honestly, to hear him, you'd think I blew apart every time I entered the kitchen. I only do that sometimes. Really, I think all the Oprah/Home & Garden/Food Network is getting to him. He now understands that holidays put pressure on many women to feel like Martha,
~ * make * ~ a ~ * perfect * ~ holiday ~ *,
and that that drives them to drink. But he assumes that I am most women. DUH! I am Super Turkey Making Wonder Girl.

I'm making him 2 cherry pies (his favorite) to soothe his frazzled nerves. After all, the holidays are hard on some of us.

I thought I'd share 3 things that have tickled me. Just in case your holidays suck, and you want something to giggle about while you're drinking in your Great Aunt's closet.

1. Mae-bell and I are playing the "gas mileage game." Apparently, my Italian heritage has just been looking for an excuse to present itself, and I now drive like Mario Andretti. With a little of my dad's profane mumbling. I'm relatively zen, considering the
tinyroadsIhavetoslolumthroughinmycar
becauseNewYorkersdoubleparkALLTHETIME.
And, the Pedestrian POPUP! game. But on a highway, I lack self-control. So, I've been trying to control my leadfoot by concentrating on getting better mileage. Because Mae-bell is a hybrid, she's got lots of deely-bobbers that tell me what my MPG on a second by second basis. I usually hover around 33 mpg, and can sometimes get up to 39+. But I haven't broken 40. Light a candle... it's gonna happen.

2. I was reading this, and saw these, and now I am OBSESSED. I need an excuse. And, probably a tranquilizer for Dr. Boy when he realizes that the dining room table has been turned into a mini-pinata stuffing & mailing factory.

3. I think this new job is good for me. Between the last few jobs and Katrina, I have lost my sense of humor. There's an edge to me, and I'm WAY too serious. Yuck. But the people here are really nice and get along. Once a week, there's a tedious meeting that brings together representatives from all parts of both campuses. This is the kind of meeting that you trade favors and take shit jobs to get out of. I get to skip it most of the time, but every month or two, I have to drop in. The maintenance guys are all on one end making jokes, the High Powered Assistants are at the other end gossiping and sharing snide smiles, and there's a fair amount of double entendre stupidity. I can't help but remember all of the meetings like this that I have sat through in the past 10 years, and compare them. This one is faster, lighter, and... just funner.

But still tedious. And, the personalities come out. In Charge, who reads every. frikkin. detail. with. pauses. for. emphasis. Arts v. Sports v. Arts. The guy who's Never Listening, but always has to comment, so he chimes in 2 or three agenda items late and makes us all go back and do it again.

Today, Never Listening zoned out, and asked for clarification on an event that was exactly the same as the one we'd just discussed. In Charge was in a good mood and decided to be an ass. So he told NL that we had just done this, that it was exactly the same, and that we didn't need to review. NL is a grump. He starts peppering the group with stupid questions. And, In Charge responds by clarifying in a sing-song voice I would use on a really stupid asshole that the guest is a pho-tog-graph-er. Suddenly, EVERYONE is trying desperately not to laugh out loud, and since NL isn't looking, we're all trying not to make eye contact. I took a big swig of my DDP, and looked over at what the Important Woman next to me was working on.

She had traced her hand and was decorating her Thanksgiving Hand Turkey.

Happy Turkey Day!

XOXO,

M