What Time Is It? It's Time To Get Ill

The word of the night is Banoodles. God, I fucking love Mia Michaels. She is batshit crazy in the very best way. And, Mary, Mary, why you buggin'? She's getting more orange in every show. It boggles the mind. It's like she's pushing to be the Chiquita Banana for Tropicana. Yipes. And, I want to come back as Cat Deely in my next life. Gur-juss! I need a spiral curling iron.

OK, let's do this shit, shall we?

Chelsea & Thayne - Eh. Love them, but the routine sucked (STRIKE TWO, Mandy Moore. I'm looking at you, you sorry excuse for a choreographer!). And, those costumes... blech. It takes a lot of work to make a hot little 80 pound dancer look frumpy, but damn the costume department did a number on Chelsea. That flap on the corset gave her a gut, those stupid shoes, and where were her boobs? And, BTW, showing a green feather in your top just makes you look like you have a hairy muppet armpit. Love them, but no rewind, no vote. Liked the music though - so 80s.

Chelsea & Mark - Thought it was OK. Love the dancers, not into the choreography, but points for doing it with a shoe malfunction. I hated that the very bottom of her leotard was black. It was a constant reminder that we were seeing up her skirt. I think it was meant to be sexy, but I'm sorry, CROTCH, CROTCH, CROTCH doesn't help me get into the mood. I'll might vote for them, but I thought it was forgettable. Also, this fakeout bullshit with the judges (What do I think? Let me fool you!) on every. fucking. comment. is getting OLD.

Jessica & Marquis - The wardrobe department obviously got some sort of a break on corsets in bulk. These two are cute, but they are not together on their movements. It was... pause-able. Not rewindable, like stop-let-me-get-a-soda-hey-do-I-need-to-do-my-eyebrows?-wait-where-was-I?-pause-able. Mia Michaels nailed it for me. Love her! Did I say that before? WHO CARES? LOVE HER!!! Another maybe vote. Pleh. I am NOT feeling this week. I did enjoy watching Nigel dance at the table though ;) Word, Nigel, indeed.

Let me just say, OMFG, so many commercials!

Kourtni & Matt - She always looks better before the wardrobe department gets her. They want me to hate her. They fucking rocked this. Well, ok, no really, but better than most tonight. They weren't parallel, and they weren't always together. No rewind, cuz hey, it wasn't that good, but I might vote for them. Mia was awesome as per uszh. Yes, Kourtni, own you size and length. LOL! Awesome. I am going to own my size and length more from now on. And, for Lala, Nigel said Twee!

Courtney & Gev - Fucking Mandy Moore again. I forgive you. This was lovely. Worth a rewind and a vote. And, classic Mia - looking for less jazzified, more organic purity. Jesus, I am crying with laughter. And, Mary continues to be every sound guy's nightmare. Somewhere there is a dude in headphones monitoring her mike that hates her fucking guts.

Katee & Joshua - Love this song. This was just OK for me. It seemed frantic, and she smiled the whole time, which bugged me. All I could think of was how much harder Kherington & Twitch rocked it the week before. I'm rethinking all of my other votes. So far, this week, I am not feeling it. The judges seem to be high. Nigel and Mary want to be Mia with all this spirit bullshit. To which I can only respond, don't play, haters. Love that Mia referenced Mary's boobs.

Suzie & Marquis - Ok, for this one you need to rock your Bahstan/Reveeyah accent wicked hahd. Go watch "Gone, Baby, Gone" and holler "YAHS, BEEYAH," til you're ready. I'll wait. Suzie will henceforth be known as THA STRIPPAH. Thank you Boston brigade for that one. But I did feel sorry for her little Cuban ass when that bitch of choreographer was mean to her. Didn't make me like her costume or her dance though. I am glad they fixed her makeup.

Kherington & Twitch - I hate this song. She did a Viennese waltz without heels and flipped around a lot. And it was beautiful. The couple to beat. Definitely a vote.

Comfort & Chris - I had to rewind it to see him, because I was watching her the whole time. I thought it was pretty good, and the judges smashed it.

Fuck it. I'm not voting this week. Ok, maybe Twitchington.