Master Class

Ok, I have told you that I love So You Think You Can Dance. But, I don't think you realize how much I love it. Maybe you, like my boyfriend, hear words coming out of my mouth and think I'm being funny. Think it's all hyperbole. Don't take me seriously.

He's in the doghouse, can you tell? Why? Because he thought I was kidding about wanting a puppy. And now that I've found the perfect one, on sale (and what's more perfect than that?), he won't let me bring her home. He said that I could have one when we had less cat, and sadly, we now have less cat. Dear, sweet Phat believed me, and loved me, and knew I wanted a puppy. And, in his way, he made it possible. Because Phat, like me, believed the LYING ASSHOLE that I live with, and was hoodwinked. Poo head. Get me a frikkin' puppy! Me and Grumpy are feeling outnumbered by the Dr.Boys, and need more BigKittyFuns to go around. Stupidhead. But I digress...

Ok, so, I love this show. I've watched for 4 seasons, and every year it gets better and I like it more, and by now the Crazy is in Full Effect. I read bios. I rewind performances to watch them again and again. I vote for everyone I like, and the ones I like a lot, I vote for A. LOT. It's really become one of the highlights of my summer.

Here's the gist: Auditions are crazy, and now we're into the top 20 dancers' competition. 3 judges watch dancers, critique them, and you vote. 2 judges are always on the panel - Nigel, a stuffy former dancer and American Idol producer, and Mary, a Texas loudmouth with a professional ballroom dance career. The third judge changes from week to week, as they sub in what has become a regular cast of choreographers. So, on any give week, they're choreographing or judging. Dancers from seasons past work with them, choreograph, and come sit in the audience, which makes me think this is a nice group of people. The audience is full of dancers, and you can tell when the team on stage has done something incredible or difficult from the cheering.

My favorites are Mary, the Crazy Texan, and Mia Michaels, a contemporary dance choreographer who won an Emmy for a routine she did for the show a few years back. Mary is a yeller, and she's frikkin nuts. It's glorious. She cries, she whoops, she makes very, very little sense. I love her. I love Mia even more, because I have no idea what she's talking about. Someone will dance, and Nigel will say something about their lines, and their carriage, and what the dance should have been. Mary will whoop, threaten to set the building on fire, and hit Nigel. And, Mia will look at them and say something like, "You need to be more vase like. I don't see your flow. Your spirit is not in emulsion, and without that, you are totally the opposite of what I need. " And the dancers will nod, and cry, cuz she's a genius, and my PUPPY HATING boyfriend and I just bust out in giggles. We've taken to snapping at each other, "Get in harmony! Where is your harmony?" and then rocking with laughter. Right now, that's not funny to you. But, watch the show, and you'll get it, and then you too will do a snorty laugh when I call you to bark, "Your center is the wrong emotional wavelength! Find your ecosystem!"

I could go on for days. I have a new choreographer crush - Tabitha & Napoleon. They do hip-hop, which isn't really my thing, but they put out 2 routines that are ROCKING my world.

So, here's the deal. If you go here, you can see a blow by blow on who danced to what choreographed by whom. There are 20 dancers right now, so I'm going to trust that if you care, you'll go here to get more info, and if you want to see the routines, you'll hit Youtube. I'm not going to bother with names. Mostly.

What blows me away is that the dancers are starting out the season with the kind of stuff that usually happened in the finals in seasons past. They are goddamned amazingly talented this year.

Rayven & Jamie - The routine went over well, but wasn't super impressive to the hip-hop judge. Dr. Boy and I love the dancers, liked the routine, it gets a vote. In particular, we like her acting. She's done some Alvin Ailey, is the oldest on the show at 28... hard times are a recurring theme in dance apparently. A Chorus Line is starting to make more sense to me. Rewind & vote.

Susie & Marquis - They did a nice job with the waltz, but he's got some family issues (Mom's a homophobe, what?) and she's a SKANK. Hard core. No rewind, one vote, cuz even though I don't like her, I thought they performed well.

Kourtni & Matt - I'm just going to say it: I don't like this chick. I don't know why. Her hair and her thighs are bothering me, I hate the way she spells her name, she kisses her mom on the lips, he's annoying, and the dance is crappy. No rewind, no vote.

Chelsea T. & Thayne - Some pretty hot shit! That girl is amazing. They really worked the cha-cha, and I've watched it like 3 times. A pattern is emerging: this year, the girls are much stronger dancers. You should Youtube this one. Rewind & vote.

Chelsie H. & Mark - I fell in love with these 2 in the auditions. He did an amazing dance to Bohemian Rhapsody that was so... unexpected. And, she's an incredible latin dancer who's the only girl in a family of boys. At one point, they were homeless, and her big brother paid for her dance lessons. She's so sweet, and I just want her to do well, for the sake of her family. They did an amazing job with a really weird piece and acted like they'd been flinging themselves around for their entire lives. Rewind & vote.

Kherington & Twitch - I want to hate this girl, but she's so incredible that she gives me chills. Twitch was a fan favorite last year in auditions, got cut, took classes, and made it to the finals this year. Everyone knows him, everyone loves him. They KICKED ASS ON THIS. It was fucking... amazing. And, she looks like pure trouble. Youtube it. Rewind & vote.

Comfort & Chris - I really like these 2. She's totally out of her element, and they were really good. Not great, but really good. She's from Dallas, she's v. southern, she's a hip-hopper, and her name is Comfort. She dislocated her shoulder in practice, they popped it back in, and she went on anyway. Her comments were hilarious. Love her. Rewind & vote.

Katee & Joshua - Why fuck around?



This makes me cry. It gives me chills. I have watched it over, and over, and over. Let's lay it out - I hate the song. She was a brat in the auditions, and I really didn't like her. He's trying to play an "up from the ghetto card" but the judges keep hinting that he's full of shit.

And, I don't care. Something about the clothes and hair reminds me of high school and college. The movement reminds me of some of the strongest emotions of my life. This looks like the feeling of throwing your whole self into heartbreak. Nigel was speechless. Mary cried. Hip Hop Judge Dan said they nailed it, especially the really hard parts. He flipped himself over his toes for god's sake.

Sigh, I love Tabitha & Napoleon. This routine is going to stay with me. I hope they win an Emmy.

I voted 11 times. And, I'm watching it again as I type.

Jessica & Will - Apparently, this was a tough routine, and they seem like nice people, but overall, I just felt... meh. It seemed trashy, and ordinary, and I couldn't care less. No rewind, no vote.

Courtney & Gev - I really liked her, even though she seems a little slutty and spoiled. But this was so-so. They lost energy and it didn't seem fun. No rewind, no vote.

So, the results are on tonight. The bottom three couples will dance for their lives in solos, and 2 dancers will be knocked out. Don't call me tonight - I'll be watching TV! You should too...