Ah,............... High School

There seems to have been some miscommunication. We're not, like, friends. I approved your friend request because I know you, and I like you. I mean, I like you a lot in the place you hold in my memory, right where I left you - in high school. Now, I know this can be confusing. There are some people that I didn't really know then, and I've been friendly to them. I've invited them to parties, and I make small talk, and act friendly. Y'know, shoot the shit, write on their walls, pretend we're going to hang out, even though we both know I'm never going to see them again. Because I'm fascinated by them. Like I would be with any new toy, or animal in a zoo.

But you? I remember you. And, we weren't friends then, but I knew you well enough to know that that was a de-cis-ion. We didn't go to the same parties, we didn't run into each other at the movies, and that was not. an. accident.

So, I don't give a flying fuck why you're coming to New York, what nickname of mine you knew, or how many lame-ass applications you invite me to quiz myself on. No matter what I say:

• it's not an accident that I didn't respond to your chat message until you were off-line. HINT - I was not "at lunch and sorry to miss you."
• I'm not "excited to get together and show you around" even though you asked. In fact, I'm pret-tee fuckin' sure I'm going to be busy, out of town, or hospitalized whenever it is you show up.
• If all I've said to you in the past 15 years involved a response to your questions, and ended with "Keep me posted!" this is not happening. That means, "Fuck off, weirdo!"

So, brace yourself, cuz I'm NOT going to see you this summer. But, hey, thanks for the trip down memory lane. It's been a while since I visited with my Inner-Snotty-Entitled-High-School-Bitch, and I'm really excited to hang out with her some more. Keep me posted!