I Need to Get Off My Meds

My Target Pharmacy has 2 pharmacists. Number 1 comes out on his breaks to ask if you need help, calls to let you know he’ll order things, and when they’ll come in. Number 2 won’t let me call in prescription transfers for fear that I will confuse the only Target within 10 miles of my office with the Target in New Jersey, and he’ll fill a prescription for someone who won’t show up to get it.

But, I try to be calm with him, because he’s still a million times better than Duane Reade. Even my doctor hates Duane Reade. Seriously, for some fun, call 212-750-8330, press 2 to ask for a prescription refill, and listen to the directions. Awesome.

This summer, I ballistic on the morons at Duane Reade near our apartment. They messed up my order, messed up my name, and kept messing it up in new and interesting ways every day for a week. I went NUTS. I finally just dispatched Dr. Boy and asked him to hammer it out. So, now they think I’m Mrs. Dr. Boy, they all know me and chuckle when I come in.

I’m a little afraid that I’m going to start pulling bottles of Similac off the shelves and throwing them at the pharmacists there, so I’ve transferred my prescriptions. Well, tried to. Today, I called Target and spoke to Number 2, who informed me that my doctor hadn’t called in the script. I called my doctor’s office, and they said they had left a message with the script on his voicemail. He didn’t believe me, and every time we tried to find a solution to this problem, he offered the same solution, in a different tone of voice.

After 5 minutes, here’s where we were:

Me: But, she said that it was in voicemail. I just got off the phone with her.

Him: No, I don’t have voicemail. You need to call your doctor.

Me: Could someone else have gotten the message and put it in my record?

Him: No, your doctor’s gotta call. Wait, what was your name again?

Me: Miss Big Kitty, B-I-G-K-I….

Him: No, not here. You need to call your doctor and find out what went wrong, cuz I don’t have it.

Me: I just spoke to her office. They called it in to you.

Him: I don’t think they did. Maybe they don’t know the right number [editor’s note: AGAIN with this?]

Me: I just spoke to them. I gave them this number, and they called and left you a message.

Him: Well, ok. Just have your doctor call me, and then I can take care of it.

Me: They did call you.

Him: Ok, then you gotta ask them what went wrong.