Stop & Shop, Bronx-style

There are 3 major groups of people in the Bronx Stop & Shop: recent immigrants, Orthodox Jews, and very Elderly Irish women. All of them stop in the middle of the aisle to think. I grabbed a few things, and headed to the checkout, where my very own EIW was trying to negotiate the lines. She wanted to be in an express line, but they were self-serve. She didn't trust the new machines, and the checker in that section kept telling her she would have to go self-serve. Every time my EIW stepped back in my line, Checker helped another EIW. But, she didn't seem to get that mine needed help too. I offered to help, but judging by the way she kept grabbing at her purse, I am not to be trusted. She checked out, and suddenly we were friends, and she started chatting with me about this and that and godknowswhat. My checker began frantically scooping up my purchases, and told me through clenched teeth that my EIW would take them if I didn't get them first.

In the parking lot, the EIW next to me tried to drive off with her keys in her trunk lock. And, when I pulled out onto Broadway, I didn't have to wait for a light. Another EIW in an automated scooter drove right into traffic, then stopped in the middle of the lane and stared down traffic.

Please, let me never be old and absent-minded.