Indisputable Facts

1. I'm a little nuts. Kind of in a fun way, but when I get into a project, I cannot be reasoned with.

2. My boyfriend is patient. I would say he's the most patient man alive, but he likes to boss me around, particularly when it comes to recipes involving yeast.

3. We are going to be slowly eaten alive by king cake dough over the next 2 hours, as it rises to twice its size.

I'm trying to make a king cake so that I can avoid ordering one. I don't know why. Every year, that $50 I have to pay to have one delivered seems like a more and more unreasonable expense, and so this year I have set out to make my own. So that in the years to come, the expense seems utterly reasonable, and so that I will believe that paying someone else is really a favor to me.

Have I mentioned how much I hate cooking with yeast? It hates me, and I hate it right back.

Last night I tried to halve the recipe, and there were some spice-cannisters-all-look-the-same-which-one-is-the-goddamned
-nutmeg?-related calamities, and I ended up with crunchy king cake. So, after much chemistry-how-to-bake-talking-to from Dr. Boy, and one narrowly avoided homicide (Dr. Boy again), I am following the goddamned directions to the goddamned letter. Mostly. I cannot bring myself to ingest a lemon-flavored, cream cheese-filled king cake even in the name of scientific discovery. And, so soon we'll have more king cake than anyone could ever want.

XOXO,

M