Dear, dear me

Dear Muffin,

Merry Christmas! I am now fat. I blame you.

Dear Lala,

Merry Christmas! I sent out my cards too. Not early. Nope. On the day I had to in order to guarantee delivery. I would resent you, but I understand this was really about getting to HolyMama's on time. Mostly.

Dear Ben,

What continent are you on? Happy Hannukah! I'm not sending you a card because I know you're not there. Come to NYC and let's catch up when you're back.

Dear Kate,

HUGS! And congrats! And, more hugs.

Dear Dr. Boy,

The big box to the left of the tree? The one that Playful now spends all of his time with? That's for you. And, since you've asked what it is, but won't open it because it's not Christmas yet, I will tell you. It's porn. A 3'x2'x2' box of porn. Merry Christmas!

Dear Bee,

SO FUNNY! And, love the tree. Safe travels to Texas.

Dear Miss Krafty,

Happy Hannukah! Howzit goin? Will there be photos?

Dear GenXer,

Where you at? Merry Christmas!

Dear Kitties,

I know you love the tree. Love to eat it, sleep under it, run around it til the tree skirt spins and presents fly all over the room, love to pull down the lights to make a warm nest so that you can nap, and crawl up the trunk to pull off ornaments. Knock it off. Seriously.

Dear me,

Sending out end of year reminders in the format of "T'was the night before Christmas," is cheezy. When did you get to be such a dork?

XOXO,

M